Doggie Secrets REVEALED!

I’m a dog. Aint no doubt about it. And if you’re reading this, then you’re probably a human.

From a dog to a human, I want to let you in on some secrets we dogs have kept to ourselves…….until now.


We don’t like it when people or organizations assign breed labels to us unless our ancestry is known. It causes us to have an identity crisis when humans expect us to act a certain way just because some shelter worker was forced to select a breed in the drop-down box on Petfinder! Humans are skilled at many things, but NO human is capable of knowing a dog’s breed/mix of breeds just by looking at him. Really, it’s true, and I have the proof: click here! More important, NO human can accurately predict how an individual dog will behave based solely on his physical appearance. Don't belive me? Click here. Besides, more than 50% of dogs in the US are estimated to be mixed breeds, so why not ditch these silly labeling systems and get to know each dog as an individual……even if that means referring to us as just (gasp!) dogs! For more food for thought, click here.
Note: Assigning a breed and then adding the word “mix” still confuses the heck out of everyone. If you insist on labeling us, then go with the only science-based, time-tested, 100% accurate label that works: “d-o-g.” You will never go wrong, I promise!


Junior, Martha Washington, and I are not “BREED ambassadors.” Why? Please refer back to DOG SECRET #1. Junior, Martha Washington, and I are mixed breed dogs, so we don’t know what breed you’re referring to!! Do we love being called pit bulls? HECK YES!!! Of course, some people/groups believe that only purebred American Pit Bull Terriers should be called “pit bulls,” but we dogs don’t have control over what people call us or the way things have evolved over time. So we proudly embrace being called pit bulls……we just can’t take credit for being “breed ambassadors!”


This one’s important and lately I’m seeing a lot humans who have not heard this secret yet, so listen up: dogs DO NOT like it when humans spew hatred or threaten to use violence against people they dislike, even when those people are convicted animal abusers. Let’s be honest, some dogs (like me, Mary Todd Lincoln, and Nancy Reagan) have every right to be angry and want revenge for the horrible acts committed against us. But it upsets us when people are angry, it scares us when people want to hurt each other, and it confuses us when people would advocate for violence and hatred… our name! It’s a disservice to all dogs and all of mankind when humans employ the same techniques they’re supposedly advocating against. By the way, you know what hurts us dogs the most? When people post photoshopped pictures of dogs attacking animal abusers or when people say dogs would take pleasure in hurting animal abusers. Please!!! That is NOT who we are, nor would our parents EVER allow us to do such a thing! If I see this happen one more time, I’m going to…….well, I’m not going to do anything because I’m a dog and I live in the moment and don’t make moral judgments. But you get the point.

Thanks for listening!

Sarge the Elderbull

PS: We dogs give you permission to share our secrets, so go ahead and spill the beans!!
PPS: None of these are actually secrets :) Ha ha, made ya look!!